Love poems, Longing

WRITTEN + EDITED BY MEL KARTAL

This year-long quarantine has deprived us of most, if not all human contact. It has sucked every last droplet of romance in our veins dry, and has left us all in a large, fleshy heap of depressed skin and bones… For some, this feeling has been around since the beginning of time. For others, romance and intimacy are a taboo, something shameful. But despite any societal pressure, or any single person telling you that what you’re feeling is wrong, there will always be that visceral feeling of longing within every human, no matter how hard you try to suppress it. But all is not lost. Here are a couple of poems that may remind you: with absence, the heart does indeed grow fonder.

Little Beast

BY RICHARD SIKEN

4

He had green eyes,

so I wanted to sleep with him—

green eyes flecked with yellow, dried leaves on the surface of a pool-

You could drown in those eyes, I said.

The fact of his pulse,

the way he pulled his body in, out of shyness or shame or a desire

not to disturb the air around him.

Everyone could see the way his muscles worked,

the way we look like animals,

his skin barely keeping him inside.

I wanted to take him home

and rough him up and get my hands inside him, drive my body into his

like a crash test car.

I wanted to be wanted and he was

very beautiful, kissed with his eyes closed, and only felt good while moving.

You could drown in those eyes, I said,

so it’s summer, so it’s suicide,

so we’re helpless in sleep and struggling at the bottom of the pool.

One Girl

BY SAPPHO

TRANSLATED BY DANTE GABRIEL ROSSETTI

                                I

Like the sweet apple which reddens upon the topmost bough,

Atop on the topmost twig, — which the pluckers forgot, somehow, —

Forget it not, nay; but got it not, for none could get it till now.

                               II

Like the wild hyacinth flower which on the hills is found,

Which the passing feet of the shepherds for ever tear and wound,

Until the purple blossom is trodden in the ground.

Mayakovsky

BY FRANK O’HARA

1

My heart’s aflutter!

I am standing in the bath tub

crying. Mother, mother

who am I? If he

will just come back once

and kiss me on the face

his coarse hair brush

my temple, it’s throbbing!

then I can put on my clothes

I guess, and walk the streets.

2

I love you. I love you,

but I’m turning to my verses

and my heart is closing

like a fist.

Words! be

sick as I am sick, swoon,

roll back your eyes, a pool,

and I’ll stare down

at my wounded beauty

which at best is only a talent

for poetry.

Cannot please, cannot charm or win

what a poet!

and the clear water is thick

with bloody blows on its head.

I embrace a cloud,

but when I soared

it rained.

3

That’s funny! there’s blood on my chest

oh yes, I’ve been carrying bricks

what a funny place to rupture!

and now it is raining on the ailanthus

as I step out onto the window ledge

the tracks below me are smoky and

glistening with a passion for running

I leap into the leaves, green like the sea

4

Now I am quietly waiting for

the catastrophe of my personality

to seem beautiful again,

and interesting, and modern.

The country is grey and

brown and white in trees,

snows and skies of laughter

always diminishing, less funny

not just darker, not just grey.

It may be the coldest day of

the year, what does he think of

that? I mean, what do I? And if I do,

perhaps I am myself again.

For Willyce

BY PAT PARKER

When i make love to you

i try

with each stroke of my tongue

to say

i love you

to tease

i love you

to hammer

i love you

to melt

i love you

and your sounds drift down

oh god!

oh jesus!

and i think

here it is, some dude’s

getting credit for what

a woman

has done

again.

A personal review of ‘Euphoria’

by Stella Nahr

I heard from many people that Euphoria was a really good show. So, when lockdown came around again and my need for entertainment and distractions rose, I gave it a try. The show was so addictive and the episodes so thrilling that it was hard not to binge it all at once. Instead, I made it my little treat. When I was especially productive that day, I allowed myself to watch one episode in the evening. Unfortunately, Euphoria only has 8 episodes that are available to watch outside the USA right now, so my number of little treats were limited, and I saved the last episode for a long time until I eventually finally watched it.  

At first Euphoria might seem like just another teen show, in the USA, in random suburbs with a random high school. You might think of some standard characters, like the mean girl, the popular football player, the beauty, the cheerleaders, the weirdos. To some extent these labels might fit, but there’s much more to the characters: flaws, raw emotions, pain, confusion. They are not one-sided at all and rather come across as fully human, so convincingly, that you almost forget it’s fictional. Or is it all actually? 

The omniscient narrator of the show, is Rue (Zendaya Coleman), 16, mentally ill and just back from rehab after an overdose. Even though she knows that her drug addiction is tearing her family apart, she has no desire to stay clean. She is inspired by the writer of the show, Sam Levinson’s own experiences. As a teenager he struggled with addiction, and worked that experience into Rue’s character. 

When Rue meets her new best friend Jules (Hunter Schafer), she is determined to stay off drugs for her. Soon, Rue and Jules become more than just friends and it becomes clear that Rue is in love with her. She starts to depend her recovery on Jules, which puts her under pressure as she has her own problems to deal with. We watch them fall into a painfully toxic relationship, sweet and heartbreaking at the same time. 

There are more characters who tell their story, such as Maddie, who’s in a manipulative relationship with Nate. Even though he physically abuses her, she can’t break free from his spell. Kat is changing her image from shy nice girl to a bondage bad bitch and dips into online sex work. Cassie is struggling with a new boyfriend, dealing with an alcoholic mom and missing father. Rue’s drug dealer Fez is a dropout of high school, doing business with gangsters but always tries to protect her as if she was his little sister. 

All those characters deal with issues that we all are to some extent familiar with and even if we’re not, we know someone who is, which makes the show so close to life and relatable. 

Not only the characters are outstanding but also the camera work and cinematography. A lot of the time the background is a combination of light and dark, like fireworks in a night sky, Rue is standing in the front, glitter around her sad eyes. The makeup in the whole show reaches another dimension, Jules always has little eyeliner artworks around her eyes, all in all a lot of glitter is involved, which is now called ‘the euphoria style’. 

The fact that a lesbian love story with a trans girl, also played by a trans actress, is the main focus is another thing that I cherish about this show. It is so important to tell these stories. The heteronormative version of love has been told too many times. Queer love exists and trans people exist and it’s important that this is normalised. Euphoria clears the way for a new generation, as it archives what has been overdue for too long: seeing a trans girl on tv, whose identity is not about being trans. She is her own well-rounded character with her own issues and a story. This is what makes Euphoria so special to many people, me included. If you haven’t watched it yet, give it a try, you might fall in love with it as well.