Amita Murray. Speaker review. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to this week’s speaker. I found her to be engaging, insightful and very funny. She was very animated as she read her new novel ‘Arya Winters and The Tiramisu of Death’. Once she went onto to read the book I agreed with the production company who may making the book into a ‘tv option’, opinion that the book is like Fleabag meets Agatha Christie. She went on to explain ‘the inner turmoil of her protagonist’, that she suffers from social anxiety and in the book, she wanted to ‘tackle the problem of loneliness’. I thought this was a very relatable point to make. At some points in our life, we have all felt lonely, in spite our how much we may enjoy our own company. Whether thiscomes at a point when we are not in a romantic relationship or our friends’ lives have moved on in different directions. I liked the fact that however lonely Ayra was, Amita decided her lead character was ‘not willing to compromise on who she spent her time with’. I also realised I had never thought about the appeal of food when it is applied to literature, she commented it has more of a ‘visual appeal’ which I am inclined to agree with. Particularly as I Love Tiramisu. The Tiramisu makes its way into the title as the lead character Arya’s profession is baking cakes. I found it remarkably interesting the way Amita described her process in relation to character’s backgrounds. She relayed she ‘did not want a detective as an actual detective in profession…. as an amateur detective, she can get away with stuff others cannot’. She relays a scene in which Arya removes yellow tape from a crime scene and implies she then in fact tampers with the scene. I am sure you are inclined to agree we all love a character who breaks ‘the rules’. We learn Arya turns amateur sleuth as her Aunty Mira and her ex-partner Craig’s Uncle Tobias have both been murdered. I loved the way she described her writing process, and rather than focusing on plot, she is very ‘character based’. I also really identified with the fact she makes her characters behave in ways she wishes she could. For example, Arya is ‘very forthright’. A trait that Amita ‘admires about her’, she also alluded to the fact she wishes she could be more like this in temperament. I also liked that when asked by Vonder if her writing process was ‘planned or chaotic and feral’, she admitted it was the latter. I agree writing for me is more comparable to this as you write and then realise you missed a pivotal or vital part that could add to the suspense or excitement of your story. Amita encouraged us to do writing exercises and admitted ‘writing doesn’t have to be perfect’ and to do ‘your personal best’. I was thoroughly captivated by Amita, found her advice insightful and look forward to hopefully hearing her again in the future.
crickets send condolences / mimic the song that played / in the backseat when bedrooms / weren’t private enough / when dirt tracks stretched out / like unspeakable proverbs / as bells chimed blue-movie / melodies / averting their gaze / as we plucked / forget-me-nots with kisses / & sucked honey from the suckle / as if it were our last meal / as if the forest / would swallow us up / crippling us in tremors / of adolescent soil.
Dew moistens our clasp / your roots unknot from mine / I hear the sound of tearing / as the morning dawns red.
Being a teenager is hard enough. Going through supposed “phases” and styles. Figuring out who the hell we are. Some of us develop talents in the arts; some take the role of Queen Bee. Some of us never fully know how to define ourselves and stay in the shadows. But one thing that is never talked about enough is sex. Yes, S-E-X. The word practically all teenagers are afraid of exploring. Some of us find it easy to delve into, while the rest of us think it’s all a bit awkward or have no interest in it at all. Is it shameful to be curious? Of course not. This Netflix series is the show that isn’t afraid to giggle at tampons, masturbation, penis size, vagina shapes, you name it and it’s in there! Sex Ed wasn’t great in the schools I went to. My single dad had the humorous job of buying books titled ‘What’s happening to my body’ and watching me hide my face in a cushion with embarrassment as he went through the pages. The words ‘pubic hair’ would make my insides cringe.
When I found the Netflix show Sex Education, I though it was fantastic. Why? Not only does it joke around topics we typically hide from or think of as crude, but it normalizes them. For example, the writers made a clear effort to include LGBTQ+ students and make their character journeys just as important as the main two, Otis and Maeve (even though we love them too). The show wasn’t afraid to expose topics like sexual harassment either, like Amy’s story of the bus. It sheds light on the realities of being a teenager. I was particularly touched by Adam’s story. People who act out of anger sometimes just want to be accepted. Similarly, is head-strong, independent Maeve. First appearing heartless until we learn of her drug-addicted mother and the money pressures she’s had. Otis’ best friend Eric is surrounded by a family that disapprove of his homosexuality and desire to express himself through fashion and makeup. The head teacher, Hope, puts a non-binary student down for wishing to wear baggy trousers. However, in Season 3 (without spoiling it for anyone), the students stand up for themselves. In this sense, the show is incredibly empowering to all young people of today. I am confident to say viewers can relate to more than one of the characters in the show.
With that being said, the show also touches on sad topics too. For example, when sexually awkward Otis starts dating popular Ruby. They agree to have casual sex after a house party but she starts to get deeper feelings for him. By the time she admits to loving him, Otis feels bad for not feeling the same way. In his head, it was only about the sex. The show perfectly balances comedy and tragedy. Every episode either made me laugh or cry. The show normalizes the issues we all feel ashamed about. Feeling like you don’t fit in; dealing with pressure; losing your virginity; coming out; being yourself; moving through friendships; heartbreak.
I think the writers of this show were so successful because every character that we meet has a back story and goes on a special journey. The parents, the kids, the teachers (who also have sex lives, believe it or not). Each one has a touching story that makes us realise we aren’t as alone in our problems as we think. In addition to this, every character is memorable. So, if you need a good laugh, a new fictional friend, or a relatable cry, I would recommend you watch Sex Education. Happy watching!
This week, as Spring blooms and restrictions change, we’ve been thinking on the subject of returning – for better or worse.
New poetry by Daniela Elizarraras Acitores
Every year around Christmas time
the whales arrive.
All the way from Canada,
they say.
The cold current is their highway,
a highway I get a view of.
Some pass by alone,
but others with friends
and most of all they pass with babies.
Baby whales that are on their first migration.
Every morning at mid day and sunset
they make their appearance on the horizon.
Some are shy, and only say hi once...
But others are playful,
jumping and performing;
a show that we all watch with amaze.
Some are breathers,
taking loads of breaths before their final dive.
While others take one,
and simply disappear.
I became the “whale watcher”
since I tend to spot them first.
I spot their breath and
the water pattern they make.
Sometimes they seem happy,
but other times…
they seem on a mission.
Every year,
no matter how much life changes for me
they still pass through.
They are my constant.
I hope they always come,
Because who knows?
Who knows?
Who knows if they will one day not return,
more when 150 species go extinct each day.
But I will keep looking at the horizon,
And I will wave goodbye as they pass by.
If they can be my constant I will be theirs too.
Returning Back to Exams – New Writing from George Wainwright
It is now the twenty-sixth of april, I say. My deep, blue eyes squinting at the long white clock in my bedroom. I could not believe the date. The clock’s sharp hands pointing towards me and reminding me that I should not procrastinate and should start work. Time is slipping. Time is ticking. I always remind myself as my fingers prick against my clean, white IKEA desk that I recently bought since returning to my home city. I sit in silence. The skeleton-like trees now blooming with greenery and thick blossoms. It is now the time that I have now been dreading. We are now nearing the end of the academic year. This idea makes my body immediately buzz with anxiety. It has only been a moment since September. The beginning of the academic year. I could remember the days when I would study after going to the gym at a nearby cafe. And then study again at home. I was motivated. I was alive. The world was my oyster. I now think of those times – nostalgic. But I must look towards the future. We must look towards the future. We are now returning to the times of the end of the academic year, towards our exams and our assignment deadlines, which we have been so used to since GCSE’s. Remember those days? I certainly do! When I used to pray before I sat my English Literature Macbeth exam which was on a monday morning. When I would wake up at 4AM to revise Macbeth quotes and then hop on an hour-and-a-half bus ride towards my school. Now I think towards that time as I am now returning towards a similar time. I remember how productive I was during that time. These exams open more doors, my religious education teacher once said. They do open more doors. As I approach and return back to the day of exam season, I am now thinking of many ways to be productive. The problem is that I cannot do it. I can be lazy, unproductive and unmotivated at times. Now I am trying to adopt a new outlook on life. These exams can potentially open more doors in my life and I think it’s time to start a new slate as a return. A more productive slate, I say to myself as I chew the end of my pencil that a friend had given me. I think towards the future. I think towards my future. I think of returning. Returning back to my exams.
New Poetry by Charlotte Kwong
‘Nothing is certain but death and taxes’
Barge of death
Sails gently downstream
Hooded figure
Lies in wait
To claim their prize
Another soul
And one more
These tortured souls
Will float forever
In the river, Styx
New Writing by Jessica Taft
The first day of spring is not a day I thought I could count on but when spring arrived on Saturday my body was ignited with Joy.
As the snowdrops and daffodils escape the confines of the soil to bask in the spring glow, my skin alights with relief to see the end of the long winter season.
No longer are the animals hidden in hobby holes to waste away the cold, slowly they awake opening one eye and then the other. Oh to be a bird or a deer in the spring, to see life in its all encompassing joy and to feel the warmth of the sun as if the icy months ceased to exist.
Without the cold I would be oblivious. I wouldn’t know the struggle to find beauty in the dull. On the darkest and dreariest of days I know that if I look for signs of life in the crystals I will find a robin surviving the cold alongside me, protecting its land and bringing colour to the blank space.
Robin and I miss the liveliness of their companions, though they are bound by duty I know they would also knock on the doors of their friends to just triple check they can’t say hello, before they resign to their post to keep watch on the snow.
When spring dawns on the 20th March, Robin and I keep watch as the snow melts away and the grass glistens in the light. They spot their neighbour they haven’t seen December coming over the horizon after their vacation in the tropics.
Soon Robin leaves me elated for some friends. What’s left is my own transformation from bud to blossom.
A letter by Katie Biddle
Dear whoever feels hopeless and naive in these trying times,
Rule of 6, and household requirements are not something we have ever had to consider before March 2020; now it is the light at the end of the very long, windy, confusing tunnel we have all been walking through with a blindfold on. Everything is still ‘up in the air’ but as March 29th fast approaches it feels safe and not disheartening to assume we can go on walks, picnics and bike rides with the group of friends you have only seen through a pixelated zoom call quiz for the past 6 months or even year. Not everyone feels comfortable with the new rules imposed on us and many feel they are still unfair- i would say i am somewhere in the middle. Out of all the lockdowns, this one was particularly hard for me in terms of socialising with friends and even strangers. The cold weather and dark evenings mixed in with uni classes have left me and many others feeling isolated and at times in a dark place with no hope. With vaccines and rapid testing happening in the now, I can’t help but look to these dates Boris has laid out for us and feel hopeful, but very much realistic, to the rest of 2021.
The question mark remains at the end of socialising as nothing is certain and i’ve learnt the hard way taking the maybe as a definite. Maybe I am naive or perhaps just hopeful, hopeful for the future and hopeful for tomorrow. Meeting up with my friends isn’t going to cure my loneliness, but it will make it feel lighter and less overwhelming. I have to ask myself why I feel like this. Why do I think going outside with more than one person will make me feel better? Why am I refusing any more online dates with my friends as we can just see each other next week? Why aren’t I just living in the moment? These are the things I am asking myself, but I have not a single answer for any. I have become stubborn in light of freedom and I think I’m in need of a reality check. I have a privilege to be here when so many have not been so lucky, and I have a privilege to be able to be hopeful.
So again i reiterate the sentiment of what is to return- socialising…?
From someone who is feeling overwhelmed with privilege and a stubborn inability to reality check themselves..
Nia Reynold on exams
Every year around April, the ever daunted exam season arrives. Preparation, revision, assignments deadlines – all clustered together in the span of one month. We write, we stress, we type, we focus, we email, we cry, we submit. Then it’s gone for another year and faithfully returns just when we start to regain composure again.
‘Dear Universe’ – New Poetry by Rebecca Harding
Waiting for the letter that never came.
Wondered if it got lost, ended up on someone else's floor, stamped on, drooled on by a white yapping dog.
Wondered if it got sent to Bermuda, and it was resting on the pink sand beaches, about to be swept away by waves.
Wondered if the postman stole it, sold it on eBay for the price of a breath.
Wondered if you ever wrote it,
Wondered if it was sent...
Waiting for the words of whispers, of dust to be sprinkled on paper.
Just so it can blow away
like dandelion seeds on a summer day.
Wondered if the words were clouded in smoke and now there is nothing left to say.
Wondered if the ink was invisible
and you were smiling from the clouds.
Wondered if you could write it
or if your hand drowned...
Waiting to come back home to you,
but I'm - stuck - in a black hole, not sure about my address...
maybe you can guess.
Waiting for the letter that never came.
Wondering if I should write one back and just write out your name.
Return of the Drag Scene – New Writing by Stella Nahr
After a long year of lockdowns and closed bars and venues, the drag scene is finally starting to wake up again. Shows and competitions are getting planned and even though most events are about 2 months away, it still feels good to know that there will be something on. In the past months the only possible way to perform was to participate in an online show, either via Zoom, Youtube link or Instagram livestream. Even though performing online can’t compete with being on stage, it was still better than nothing and could at least give you a small glimpse of what it was like to be at an actual drag show.
The covid situation hit the nightlife industry especially hard as clubs have been closed for over a year now, bars are usually one of the last things to reopen and even if they are, you have to sit on a table, not able to move freely and talk to the drag artists, which is half the fun of a show. Many full time drag performers have been struggling over the past year and even though over summer/autumn there was a small gap of certain venues being open (with ridiculous restrictions, nowadays you have to order a pizza to see your favorite drag queen perform) that didn’t make up for the past months without any gigs or income.
The drag scene has been on pause for too long now and artists struggle not only financially. A big part of the nightlife drag scene is the fact that you get the chance to express yourself artistically and connect with other queer people. I miss the sense of community, where everyone lifts each other up and makes them feel welcome. I miss the excitement before going on stage, the thrill of performing and the applause after. I miss seeing everyone’s performances and looks and making new friends every time I go out.
A lot of venues had to close forever during lockdown, but also new queer spaces have opened and new shows and brunches are getting put on. Now’s the time for new ideas to emerge as everything is getting planned and reopened. In the close future you’re hopefully able to attend events without worrying about covid restrictions. The whole scene is more than ready to welcome the new London queer nightlife!
All of us experience growth – from the day we are born to the day we die, our lives are a constant evolution; but this past year, for many of us, that growth has been stunted. Stuck inside, unable to see friends of family; wearing a mask and avoiding human contact; unable to go to work, school; unable to go on holidays or nights out. Our day-to-day lives have changed drastically.
Despite this, maybe this past year has prompted us to grow in a different way. I’ve learnt to appreciate the small things; I’ve thought about where I am in my life and where I want to be. It’s given me time to think about my health – physical and mental, and what I can do to improve them both. To improve who I am as a person. So maybe I have grown – not in any way I could have predicted, but maybe that’s the best kind of growth? The unpredictable kind.
Although there are still many doubts and uncertainties, there now seems to be a glimmer of hope we can all reach for – a ‘return to normality’ – but is that really what it will be? Press the reset button and our lives will just start up again from where we left them a year ago? I don’t think so. No one is the same as they were a year ago – there is no reset button in life, and that’s not a bad thing.
Freedom, that was taken away last year. We were advised to stay inside in order to keep each other safe. I can say from experience, that by staying home, lives were destroyed, partners were abused, people became depressed, and this list could go on. It is still a challenge today to stay sane and carry on, knowing that one year has already gone and most of us did not make it any further than the living room.
If you feel chubby because you consumed half the content of your fridge each day and watched Netflix all day, please do not feel bad. We all did it or still do and that is okay, but it can change if you want it. I want you to know that the choice is always there, and it is yours. Personally, I am comfortable in the ‘’Netflix and chill’’ phase, so if you chose to be like that, I want you to know you are not alone. I am writing this piece with a slice of pizza in my left hand and a sip of beer every now and then. Bing eating is today’s activity or hobby if you like, and yes when I have time to go to shop to fill in my half empty fridge this is how I look like. My hands are full of snacks and if you struggle with the same thing, welcome in the club.
There is always time for change though, and that is now. With 2021 we determinate our future. This year we need to make big decisions. Whether we would like to get vaccinated or not, whether we believe the government’s plan and hope that by June there will not be any pandemic. It is still our choice to understand what is best for us. I would like to encourage every one of you to step up for yourselves this year. It will not get any better than this only if you want it.
Finally, I would like to wish everyone a successful year full of hope and clean slates. Take your freedom back!
Enlightenment Torch: Learning and growing through being isolated in our homes, and still having the opportunity to go into shops and walks while wearing a face mask on. It has been the year of being in Tier 3 of lockdown that has taught us to reflect on our future and to what we can achieve during this time. Since 2020, people have become aware of the issues of equality since the Black Lives Matter protest after the death of George Floyd and what we can do to push society forward by educating ourselves on these matters.
As we go into 2021, we hope that there is a solution to the virus, the political system across the world. This we lead the people of the world to feel optimistic that change is happening in the action by the governments. A time will come when we can be relaxed and certain of what direction we are going in during the pandemic without going down a constant spiral of what we could have done as a society. It is important as going into this year that we think about the looking after our mental health. A new chapter of everyone reuniting back in society and yet the process will be slow.
The torch that sees through growing open walks, shops, and homes.
Mask that has been reused,
torch that sees through the Tier 3 lockdown, and
previous lockdowns,
To opened books, experiences, development
issues raised and not,
equality matters-
of the question of
Are we still having the same conversation?
People who do not see, the
torch surpasses rivers, streams, and waters.
In chaotically stranded isolations in this
filling reality.
In and Out, in a never-ending tape,
extends to streets, roads, boroughs, and districts.