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… ideas and inspirations from the Creative Writing community at the University of Westminster.

Missing out?

by Katie Biddle

Starting University, you have big plans and dreams of what’s to come. You’re going to meet your best friends in week one, by week two you’ll have a local pub where you know the bartender by name, and by week three you’ll be completely settled in your tiny, overpriced accommodation and will have finished the excruciating reading list before your first official lecture.

But what if you haven’t met the group of people you fit in with yet, or if you haven’t found a pub which plays the right music all night long. What if you haven’t even started reading Dracula for your first class. What if a pandemic shuts the whole country down just as you were starting to settle in your new city? Are we missing out on these crucial years of university culture? 

University culture might mean drinking till you pass out, sexual freedom found through living on your own for the first time, or maybe like most people it’s an opportunity to engage with a new landscape and be independent. Six months to adapt is a short time before you’re locked down and can curate enough banana bread to feed all the mouths in your building, but we had to do it. Perhaps you went home and felt robbed of your rent. Maybe you stayed in the city but got sick of the four walls that suffocated you Every. Single. Day. Is this the university experience we signed up for? I feel like I’m missing out. Missing the insufferable commute, missing sushi between classes, missing the nights out that remind me why I chose London over my small seaside town.

I feel like I’m missing out, but I also feel like I’ve gained from this time. I’m more creative, less anxious and actually have time to finish Dracula (even though I hate it)! Lockdown has taken so much from us, some an immeasurable amount, but for those who it has only taken their freedom to walk outside, maybe, like me, you have gained what you wouldn’t have before. Online university allows you to cook your breakfast and hug your cat whilst you learn how powerfully important the 60s teenager was to sexual liberation. If you’re on furlough, like me, you might have the extra undivided attention you needed for your assignments to get your first First. Maybe you now have common ground with your flatmates who are going through the same thing, so understand why you’ve eaten beans on toast every day for the past week. Lockdown has taken so much from us where we feel like we are missing out, but how nice will it be when we look back at this time to see that we have gained something: gained perspective on the fragility of life, gained better work habits, gained an online friend, gained half a stone. Missing out is an intense emotion that makes us feel like we are being cheated, in some cases we have been, but to find a positive in an overwhelming space of negatives makes you feel like you’re much less than missing out, rather looking forward to a new future.

2020 Book Releases

Written by Elizaveta Kolesova, edited by Cheyenne Holborough and Sadia Aktar

The UK publishing houses continued to release books even during the first coronavirus lockdown and this year, the world has seen many new novels from brilliant female authors of different nationalities and cultural backgrounds, let’s discuss some of them.

“The Vanishing Half” by Brit Bennet

The novel is about the phenomenon of “white passing” in the United States in the last century, when people of multiracial ancestry and fair skin tried to assimilate with the white community to avoid discrimination. One of the protagonists of the novel decides to break all connections with her family in order to “become white”.

“The Other Passenger” by Louis Candlish

The theme of wealth inequality, which has become the basis of many classic novels, does not lose its relevance nowadays. The thriller “The Other Passenger” destroys the illusion of the seemingly perfect life of Londoners: many of them spend their best years in debt and working low-paid jobs. Sometimes this despair drives people to commit crimes.

“If I Had Your Face” by Francesca Cha

Modern South Korea is obsessed with rigid beauty standards that push young women to undergo dangerous and expensive plastic surgery. The author compares her protagonists with little mermaids who walked on whetted blades but were “able to dance like no human has ever danced before”.

“The First Woman” by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi

What is it like to be a woman in Idi Amin’s Uganda during the regime of one of the cruellest dictators in history, in a country raging with corruption and war, and where tribal laws still reign. The heroines try not to lose their identity in a staunchly patriarchal society.

Studying the origins of indigenous feminism, the author refers to African folklore, stories about the first women who walked the Earth.

“Burnt Sugar” by Anvi Doshi

It is a powerful novel about the painful and complicated relationship between mother and daughter. The story is set in the Indian city of Pune and shows us the extreme poverty of life in the ashrams, contrasted with wealthy Indian society.

“Sisters” by Daisy Johnson

“Sisters” is a dark gothic thriller about mysterious and harmful relationships between two sisters, September and July. The author’s narrative style turns even descriptions of domestic everyday life into chilling episodes which can be compared to horror stories.

“The Liar’s Dictionary” by Eley Williams

It is a novel with two parallel storylines: Victorian London of 1899 and modern London of our time. The events take place at a publishing house, Swansby, which is occupied with producing a dictionary.

One of the most distinguishing features of this novel is its brave and experimental language: the author takes a creative approach and uses dictionary terms as a part of the narration. 

The House of Libras-Flash Fiction Story

By Jamelia White-Akingbade

I live beneath the air that I breath. I find myself staring into oblivion.

Do you feel like that? I belong to the ethereal skies beyond existences. The clouds that are invisible to the eye. Eye that sees all, but does it see the air that I breath. As mankind we do not appreciate the meaning of breathing and feeling the air expand. In. Out. In. Out. We simply do not care because breathing becomes so normal to us that it does not exist anymore. I do wonder. If. All the zodiac signs are real. Think about it. Astrological signs. The four elements; fire, water, earth and air. Well. Birth signs. What if? We are those signs. We embody the characteristics of them that it transcends through us.

   ‘Eirene. Come here!!

    I jump from the desk in front of me and turn my head to a tall figure who appears to be my neighbour, she is standing at the side of the door.

  ‘Rachel. What do you want! Her hair is tied in loose caramel curls, that is softly placed behind her shoulders. I describe her voice as being a high-pitched squeak that is contrasted by her broad shoulders of defiance. I did not move. I look at her with amusement and turn back to the potted plants in front of me.

     ‘Life has truth with a single breath’.

    ‘Breath? Rachel ignores my comment and walks away to continue her studies.

      Rachel is not an environmentalist or a carer for mankind. As a neighbour she was on the other side of the spectrum. She bore the element of fire that made her driven by passion and enthusiasm. It was in myself that everything from that moment changed. I hit my face against the stack of auburn, mahogany books, trying to open my eyes as they are restricted by fuzzy indigo hues. I am met with a beaming Elgin marble scenery; it becomes difficult to open my eyes to the radiant flooring carved with creases of pearl and coal crevice. This airy feeling of enlightenment and earthly enhancements takes over my body. My hands are coated with droplets of lilies. The sunlight reflects the luminous salmon and golden petals. The sound of streams relaxes my nerves leading my eyes to looking glass of the turquoise waters, making me quench with thirst. I trace slowly down my arms and bend down to see myself covered with lilies. I push backwards of this daze of what appears to be alternate reality. Further down the lake, I see a row of bronze scales across the forest green fields. They are placed horizontally in the field leaving patches of withered sand, making me curious to why the scales are placed in the middle of the grass rather away from the patchy sand. The seraphic temple filled with scales gives you an equilibrium curiosity of a world far from your reach. My feet touch the lukewarm surface, adjusting to the unrevealed setting, steadily I walk towards it. I walk towards it. I walk.

The Unmasked

One of the few good things to come out of this time we’re spending tucked away in our homes is the huge amount of creative content being released. Sure, movie theatres are closed and sadly so are traditional theatres, but I am finding that many artists are building up an arsenal of work, ready to be released when we can share a public space safely again. Until then, other platforms (even TV networks) are using this time to unify, but also diversify by releasing unique content. Female protagonists are becoming increasingly powerful and complicated – as seen in the Queen’s Gambit. Refugees are being shown as more than just victims such as in His House. It seems as though we have moved past a time of politically correct and into a time of bespoke storytelling.

In this short series of writing I seek to explore the social necessity of writing inclusive characters. In this time of global crisis, it is easy to recognize that many of us have never felt more isolated, we are missing our families, we feel like we’re losing parts of our identity. Some of us are losing our identities due to lack of routine.  At other times we quite literally lose our identity because even the most familiar people look like strangers to us because of the necessity of wearing a face mask.  For the first part of this series I would like to take a look at His House, directed by Remi Weeks. Halloween has come and gone, and with it the memories (and sometimes nightmares) of many horror movies have come and gone as well. His House, on the other hand, has stuck in my mind and transcends the horror genre entirely. The movie follows a young Sudanese refugee couple that arrives in London. The culture shock for the couple and lack of empathy from the UK immigration office is a tension that carries from the beginning to the end of the film. I’ve never seen a film that so perfectly balances drama and horror before—the script swings effortlessly between each of these moods and explores a very believable and heart-breaking story of asylum.  The film also heavily explores identity and the reality of having to give up everything and start over, while also feeling completely alienated. Bol and his wife Rial are incredibly grateful when they are given asylum in the UK after an obviously stressful interrogation period. The ‘home’ they’re given on an estate is derelict with abandoned filthy furniture, countless holes in the walls and pests. The couple is immediately elated and their first question to the council manager is “Is this whole place ours?”. Bol very quickly pushes himself to assimilate by going to the barber and then the pub while his wife struggles to leave the house. The story touches on a very real pressure that exists for immigrants (especially refugees) to quickly assimilate into the society they enter. It is evident that Bol and Rial are both suffering from trauma, and yet they are told to be “good” as to not further the bad reputation of the refugees. The psychological state of this vulnerable couple is overlooked and the obvious trauma they are suffering from is ignored. It isn’t long before Bol’s past begins to literally haunt him and there is a battle between his mental torments and the necessity to continue being an upstanding tenant as to not put their asylum at risk. It’s evident that the director of His House did an incredible amount of research and put so much care into telling a story of trauma, identity, and the often overlooked struggle of being an immigrant.

Written by Alexandra Hakli

Edited by Amy Barlow

Secrets – A Flash Fiction Piece About Coping With Difficult Emotions

I have a secret and it always follows me. It started off as something so small, something to ignore that you could write on a post-it note and forget about once it fell off the wall. It was barely even a whisper, no bigger than an atom. Until it wasn’t anymore. Until it went from being smaller than an atom, to being the enormous shadow that would hang over me wherever I went. I would feel happy only for it to tell me I don’t deserve it, I would want to confide in others only for it to say to me that they would never understand, I’d want to eat and it would ask me, “Haven’t you looked in the mirror? You’ve definitely had enough.”

I can feel it on my back when I can’t get up in the morning and when my mum calls me, “Come on, don’t you have class today?” I can feel it breathe on my neck when I’m happy, and clasp my neck when I’m scared. It shouts at me when I’m lonely that I’m destined to be alone and whispers to me, “Don’t wake up,” when I sleep at night. Its cackling pierces my ears as my sobbing attempts to deafen them.

Often, I’m asked by people:

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you okay?”

“What’s up with you today?”

“You’re acting strange?”

“Why are you being so weird?”

Strange. Weird. Wrong. Okay. The voice tells me that I’m not okay because there is something wrong with me and that what’s wrong with me is both weird and strange. Although, I do have another secret that I keep. This secret asks me, “So, on a scale of 1 to 10 how have you been feeling these past 2 weeks? 10 being the best and 1 being the worst,” and I answer the first time,

“I would say about a 3,” my first secret chimes in to punish me,

“What’s the point in getting help if you’re just going to lie? You might as well stop now, it’s not like they’ll actually be able to help someone who’s this much of a mess.” This secret would tell me otherwise, however. It would tell me that none of the things I’ve been through is my fault. It’s not my fault that person hurt me or that I didn’t get the grade or that someone didn’t show they cared for me enough. Why would it be my fault? So, this secret doesn’t follow me but instead, it saves me. It laughs with me when I’m happy and it hugs me when I’m scared. It tells me my mum is in the living room when I’m lonely and whispers, “Sweet dreams,” when I sleep at night. It gets a tissue so I can dry my tears.

Over time, this secret, much like the first, has begun to grow and instead of being a shadow, it walks beside me like a friend. Sometimes, it’s busy or I lose it while I’m walking but it finds me again and whenever it does. I’m certain that things aren’t always cheery and bright I know that there will always be moments where things feel good. Even if that good moment is just for a single second. Any amount of good, is great.

I talked to a friend today and they asked me, “Hey, how have you been lately? I know things are kind of rough right now but good or bad, how are you?” For once I didn’t hear my first secret speak to me so this time, I could speak without the weight of it sitting with me, the guilt of its existence resting on my shoulders. I told them,

“Things have been rough lately but right now, I’m doing good. What about you?”

Written by Cheyenne Holborough and edited by Sadia Aktar, Elizaveta Kolesova and Cheyenne Holborough

Locked Indoors – 5 Poems To Make Quarantine Scarier Than It Already Is

This year has been a rollercoaster to say the least, who would have thought this is how we would be spending Halloween 2020? This year has challenged us all to be creative and think outside of the box, whether you learned how to bake bread at home or figured out a gym routine with bags of sugar as weights. What better way to exercise the muscle that is your mind than to delve into some exceptional horror themed poetry? Here are some of our picks.

<p class="has-black-color has-text-color has-large-font-size" value="<amp-fit-text layout="fixed-height" min-font-size="6" max-font-size="72" height="80"><strong><em>Windigo</em></strong> Windigo

By Louise Edrich

For Angela

The Windigo is a flesh-eating, wintry demon with a man buried deep inside of it. In some Chippewa stories, a young girl vanquishes this monster by forcing boiling lard down its throat, thereby releasing the human at the core of ice.

You knew I was coming for you, little one,

when the kettle jumped into the fire.

Towels flapped on the hooks,

and the dog crept off, groaning,

to the deepest part of the woods.

In the hackles of dry brush a thin laughter started up.

Mother scolded the food warm and smooth in the pot

and called you to eat.

But I spoke in the cold trees:

New one, I have come for you, child hide and lie still.

The sumac pushed sour red cones through the air.

Copper burned in the raw wood.

You saw me drag toward you.

Oh touch me, I murmured, and licked the soles of your feet.

You dug your hands into my pale, melting fur.

I stole you off, a huge thing in my bristling armor.

Steam rolled from my wintry arms, each leaf shivered

from the bushes we passed

until they stood, naked, spread like the cleaned spines of fish.

Then your warm hands hummed over and shoveled themselves full

of the ice and the snow. I would darken and spill

all night running, until at last morning broke the cold earth

and I carried you home,

a river shaking in the sun.

Samhain

By Annie Finch

(The Celtic Halloween)

In the season leaves should love,

since it gives them leave to move

through the wind, towards the ground

they were watching while they hung,

legend says there is a seam

stitching darkness like a name.

Now when dying grasses veil

earth from the sky in one last pale

wave, as autumn dies to bring

winter back, and then the spring,

we who die ourselves can peel

back another kind of veil

that hangs among us like thick smoke.

Tonight at last I feel it shake.

I feel the nights stretching away

thousands long behind the days

till they reach the darkness where

all of me is ancestor.

I move my hand and feel a touch

move with me, and when I brush

my own mind across another,

I am with my mother’s mother.

Sure as footsteps in my waiting

self, I find her, and she brings

arms that carry answers for me,

intimate, a waiting bounty.

“Carry me.” She leaves this trail

through a shudder of the veil,

and leaves, like amber where she stays,

a gift for her perpetual gaze.

Black Cat

By Rainer Maria Rilke

A ghost, though invisible, still is like a place
your sight can knock on, echoing; but here
within this thick black pelt, your strongest gaze
will be absorbed and utterly disappear:

just as a raving madman, when nothing else
can ease him, charges into his dark night
howling, pounds on the padded wall, and feels
the rage being taken in and pacified.

She seems to hide all looks that have ever fallen
into her, so that, like an audience,
she can look them over, menacing and sullen,
and curl to sleep with them. But all at once

as if awakened, she turns her face to yours;
and with a shock, you see yourself, tiny,
inside the golden amber of her eyeballs
suspended, like a prehistoric fly.

To Live in the Zombie Apocalypse

By Burlee Vang

The moon will shine for God
knows how long.
As if it still matters. As if someone

is trying to recall a dream.
Believe the brain is a cage of light
& rage. When it shuts off,

something else switches on.
There’s no better reason than now
to lock the doors, the windows.

Turn off the sprinklers
& porch light. Save the books
for fire. In darkness,

we learn to read
what moves along the horizon,
across the periphery of a gun scope—

the flicker of shadows,
the rustling of trash in the body
of cities long emptied.

Not a soul lives
in this house &
this house & this

house. Go on, stiffen
the heart, quicken
the blood. To live

in a world of flesh
& teeth, you must
learn to kill

what you love,
& love what can die.

Dead Souls Dressed

By Nisha Patel

Dancing in the corridor wings, they boasted of their past lives.

Reincarnated and ready for the Halloween night.

Leather shoes tapped the pumpkin to check if anyone inside was hiding.

The school desks whispered the dreadful fate of their lost students.

Spiders crawled inside tiny holes in the corners.

The school scarecrow outside tried to warn those poor children.

They died in their classrooms from poisoned lunches in 1935.

On a Halloween night that even surprised their teachers.

The candles in their memory on the window ledge teared up in melted wax.

Winds outside howled the pain of their parents, still angry at their loss in heaven.

Those little souls were running through corridors dressed as their teachers.

The only Halloween costumes they had access to.

Today their souls were running free in the untouched corridors.

Their lost souls dressed up, to give the dead a life outside of their clothes.

 

Poems compiled by Gabrielė Platūkis

Writers Talk

Naush and Suna’s Talk – Tips or Tricks

Rejection and coping with it well, is one of the great tips and tools needed for a writer. They reminded us that it’s important to “welcome rejection.” It may seem like an obvious pro tip, but as writers, when we get so invested in our work it’s the simplest of things we may forget in our writing journey. Rejection is a piece of the experience and not the final picture. Which is important to remember. Those rejections make us better writers in the sense that we explore deeper, where we can really touch the roots of writing. 

Time is also significant. Managing your schedule gives you the independence of you will need to acquire as a full time writer in the future. “Carving out time” for yourself as a writer also caters to your writing mood which is beneficial to pay attention to. Especially because a writer is constantly evolving. Writers need to be able to take the time to see the different dimensions of themselves they have put into their work. They will grow with the evolution of their characters over their time. 

Submission windows are the classic example of motivation for a writer. It’s a “great motivation factor” because a writer is working towards something consistently.   Working on good writing is about consistency. In addition to that, having deadlines are a great preparation technique for those less flexible days. It’s a way for a writer to combat any writing fears they may have as those deadlines may push them to go for it. Self discipline is at a strong point when you feel good under pressure. You feel confident enough to meet the deadline in your own time, on time. 

Find a community that will take your work seriously is one of the best pieces of advice these ladies offered us. It’s vital to seek that society of people who are genuine in responding to your work. Critical feedback is essential in progressing your writing. It’s what gives the writer more fuel to win their own race. The feedback that may be the hardest to take in, might be the most helpful advice they have been given to accelerate their narrative. Being critical can be “really fruitful” for making a writer see beyond what they think they can achieve. The possibilities grow when you take the true words of the true critics seriously.

Developing your craft comes from what gets one excited and intrigued as a writer. The passion is a key ingredient in enjoying the experience of writing. Writing about something that keeps your eyes wide open will make you want to build a better engine your story can work from. Reading equally stems from passion. They spoke of how reading poetry magazines can give you a taste of “contemporary poetry.” That kind of reading also keeps a writer up to date on the kind of writing circulating our world today. A writer doesn’t have to change themselves to fit the writing trend, but they should try to understand them. General reading is a necessity. Books bring the writer to life, and give them new words to extract. This an empowering contribution for self development in writing. To create “better readers” and produce more “informed writers.”

The “bubble of motherhood” is an interesting one to talk about. They spoke about how being a mother can be very time consuming on the schedule. This justifies further why a writing community is  useful because it gives writers a place to gather and share similar problems. Assuring yourself your not alone matters, particularly during the Covid era that is about to get spooky this October. 

Written by Nisha Patel

Writers Talk

Naush and Suna’s Talk – Tips or Tricks

Rejection and coping with it well, is one of the great tips and tools needed for a writer. They reminded us that it’s important to “welcome rejection.” It may seem like an obvious pro tip, but as writers, when we get so invested in our work it’s the simplest of things we may forget in our writing journey. Rejection is a piece of the experience and not the final picture. Which is important to remember. Those rejections make us better writers in the sense that we explore deeper, where we can really touch the roots of writing. 

Time is also significant. Managing your schedule gives you the independence of you will need to acquire as a full time writer in the future. “Carving out time” for yourself as a writer also caters to your writing mood which is beneficial to pay attention to. Especially because a writer is constantly evolving. Writers need to be able to take the time to see the different dimensions of themselves they have put into their work. They will grow with the evolution of their characters over their time. 

Submission windows are the classic example of motivation for a writer. It’s a “great motivation factor” because a writer is working towards something consistently.   Working on good writing is about consistency. In addition to that, having deadlines are a great preparation technique for those less flexible days. It’s a way for a writer to combat any writing fears they may have as those deadlines may push them to go for it. Self discipline is at a strong point when you feel good under pressure. You feel confident enough to meet the deadline in your own time, on time. 

Find a community that will take your work seriously is one of the best pieces of advice these ladies offered us. It’s vital to seek that society of people who are genuine in responding to your work. Critical feedback is essential in progressing your writing. It’s what gives the writer more fuel to win their own race. The feedback that may be the hardest to take in, might be the most helpful advice they have been given to accelerate their narrative. Being critical can be “really fruitful” for making a writer see beyond what they think they can achieve. The possibilities grow when you take the true words of the true critics seriously.

Developing your craft comes from what gets one excited and intrigued as a writer. The passion is a key ingredient in enjoying the experience of writing. Writing about something that keeps your eyes wide open will make you want to build a better engine your story can work from. Reading equally stems from passion. They spoke of how reading poetry magazines can give you a taste of “contemporary poetry.” That kind of reading also keeps a writer up to date on the kind of writing circulating our world today. A writer doesn’t have to change themselves to fit the writing trend, but they should try to understand them. General reading is a necessity. Books bring the writer to life, and give them new words to extract. This an empowering contribution for self development in writing. To create “better readers” and produce more “informed writers.”

The “bubble of motherhood” is an interesting one to talk about. They spoke about how being a mother can be very time consuming on the schedule. This justifies further why a writing community is  useful because it gives writers a place to gather and share similar problems. Assuring yourself your not alone matters, particularly during the Covid era that is about to get spooky this October. 

Written by Nisha Patel

Nisha Patel is a writer dreaming in her own little world. Underneath a tree, looking upon the cities lit by the stars. A second year student studying Creative Writing and English Language at the University of Westminster. She adores writing as her company and loves embracing the warmth of nature while she is sitting in it. Hearing the birds tweet gives her sweetness on a sad day. When sunshine falls in, she falls into the making of a new dream. Notebooks with poems make her heart smile, especially ones that are full up of them!

Highlights

A look back at what we have learnt over the past few months from a few of the very inspirational speakers.

Jessica Wragg arrived back to the university with a new and accomplished novel, ‘Girl on the Block’ which came out in June 2017. Having once been a student here, she had a lot to tell us about the journey she took in the world of writing. Her experiences of being a butcher from the age of 16 and being able to write about those experiences from her own, very personal perspective. She emphasises that it is good to write about what you know, and in her case, that is the meat industry.  She also taught us to compromise to a degree with publishers, but to the extent that you feel is right.

Helen Mort, inspiring Poet and novelist. Helen spoke on how writing can be really difficult and in some ways you must be sensitive to the world but connected with it. She was not shy to mention that many times she had failed to succeed but that what we need as writers is a self-believe and this will keep us going. Helen believes that often good writing can feel embarrassing or uncomfortable but that the writing itself is not a bad thing. She also spoke of her challenges writing about the Hillsborough disaster as it did not directly affect her. She had trouble to convey this writing at first but was able to overcome it by writing from the perspective of a character in one of her novels.

Golnoosh Nour’s ‘The Ministry of Guidance’ was published this month! Golnoosh is a writer of short stories and also poetry who tries to find and write on content that she likes. She recommends independent presses as a good platform to get your work out there. Golnoosh also talks about how sex, perhaps shy or embarrassing as it may seem, can be political and it can be used for a purpose in a story or even to reveal something about one of her characters. Advice she gives to us is, not to worry about rejection as it may be inevitable and find your literary voice.

Vicky Grut was shortlisted for her book, ‘Live Show Drink Included’ by the Edge Hill Short Story Prize 2019 last year. She explained to us her way of writing short stories, taking time to ‘excavate the world’. To begin writing, she finds her character followed by a conflict which sets this character on a journey. In continuing, it is good to keep questioning and asking, ‘why’ in situations with your character. Further tips she gave were about how writers groups can help with drafts for your work as you are all in the same boat. She also stresses that if you do not write ideas down, they go, which is why she always keeps a notebook with her when she is on the go.

By James Hamblin