by Eleanor Forrest

So- creative block, isn’t it wonderful?

I’ve had a lot of trouble thinking of how to start this, but isn’t beginning always the hardest part? I am tired. Reading week didn’t go as well as I planned, I have multiple random tasks about half-finished, and I currently have three messages from different people that I have put off responding to. Yeah, that sounds about right.

It’s because my executive functioning has been horrible lately. But wait, what does that even mean, you ask? Well, executive function is a group of mental abilities that affect one’s working memory, flexible thinking, and self-control. These abilities are responsible for our ability to handle many aspects of our lives such as paying attention, organisation, planning, starting and completing tasks, and even emotional regulation (Herndon, 2018). And it is something a lot of people with neurodivergent conditions struggle with.

Because of my imagination and my very noisy mind, inspiration is very rarely something I lack. There are so many things that are important to me and I want to write about, yet the cruel irony is that because my thoughts about these topics are so passionate and nuanced, just thinking about the process of putting them into words feels like climbing an entire mountain. Unfortunately, I’m sure upon reading the definition many people would wonder to themselves “but isn’t that just laziness”? I assure you, it is nothing of the sort. Simply, it is one’s brain becoming unable to break down the steps needed to complete an activity, and no, it does not just affect tasks that are boring or unpleasant. I used to think I was the only person in the whole world who could procrastinate playing video games or watching tv, just because my console or laptop was on the other side of the room and getting up felt monumental. It will even affect one’s ability to take care of their basic needs, such as eating, sleeping, and so on. Whilst executive dysfunction is a hard thing to explain to someone who does not experience it, I will try: it feels to me like wading through thick sludge, or like when the air feels so heavy that you can’t breathe, or like running up a steep incline, exhausted. It feels like hitting a brick wall inside my head and being unable to find a way around, or that my brain is too full of air to even feel tethered to reality, let alone work on anything complicated. 

However, the truth is that everyone can have trouble with their executive function from time to time, and I wonder if a lot of people’s experience with creative block is at least partially related to it. But no need to fear, for I am armed with years of experience and an armada of weapons to tackle it. 

First of all, it is important to take care of yourself before anything else. Unsurprisingly, lack of sleep significantly affects our executive functioning abilities among other things (Loria, 2014), and I have noticed a huge difference in my mental health and my productivity if I have slept well. Of course, this is often easier said than done; I actually struggle to get to bed at a decent time because -believe it or not- I have a hard time completing the tasks necessary in order to go to bed in the evening because I am tired. So, I end up sleeping later, and I am more tired in the morning, and then I struggle with the tasks the next day brings, and the cycle of stupid continues. But moving on, exercise is also important, and going outside for a little while each day improves our concentration a lot. In fact, apparently even looking at a picture of nature or staring out of a window can help, as does building a routine, and having friends or family work alongside you and remind you to do the things you need to do. 

All of these techniques are wonderful, but the truth is that sometimes we might have to be more creative. You see, the way our brains work doesn’t always make much sense, and the things that work for other people don’t necessarily work for us. Maybe that’s why I’ve seen so many people share their utterly ridiculous tips on how to work around executive dysfunction, and they are amazing; how about using a physical barrier in front of your door instead of a sticky note that’s easy to ignore? How about setting a pot of water to boil because a normal timer feels too arbitrary? How about listening to the loudest and most abrasive genres of music possible whilst working because they’re effective at clearing your head and drowning out your thoughts (I am in fact listening to hyperpop as I write this; I know that listening to music with lyrics whilst reading or writing is supposed to be distracting, but for whatever reason, nearly any song with a high BPM motivates me when nothing else works). Last but not least, have you ever tried beginning an essay with “buckle in, motherf*****s”? Seriously, a lot of the time starting a written piece of work is so hard that writing nearly anything will do the trick, just as long as you delete it later! Or if all else fails, you can always eat an entire bag of tortilla chips whilst you work. I am not endorsing this strategy, only bringing attention to the fact that it exists. 

At the end of the day, however, it is also important to remember not to be too harsh on ourselves. As much of a cliché as it is to say, the truth is that neurodivergent or not, we are all going to have our bad days and things we struggle with. Our own definition of growth and success won’t always be the same as everyone else’s, either, and that’s absolutely ok! Of course we won’t all be exactly the same; the work that we do as writers and artists is creative by nature. 

I’m happy with myself right now, anyway. I’ve had a lot happen lately that has been difficult to deal with, and since my partner and I have been arguing more frequently these past few weeks I have noticed myself feeling so much worse. At least I managed to turn the thing that was causing me to struggle into this entry, even if it took me two days. Isn’t that amazing? I’m amazing.

References:

Healthline, (2022) ‘What Is Executive Dysfunction? Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment‘. [online] Available at: https://www.healthline.com/health/executive-dysfunction#outlook (Accessed 10 Apr. 2023).

Loria, L.F.F., Kevin (2014) ‘This Might Be The Easiest Way To Boost Concentration And Memory‘. [online] Business Insider. Available at: https://www.businessinsider.com/boost-concentration-and-memory-by-going-outside-2014-8?r=US&IR=T (Accessed 10 Apr. 2023).

Tanzman, L. (n.d.) ‘Sleep Deprivation: A Roadblock to Improving Executive Function‘. [online] http://www.beyondbooksmart.com. Available at: https://www.beyondbooksmart.com/executive-functioning-strategies-blog/sleep-deprivation-a-roadblock-to-improving-executive-function. (Accessed 10 Apr. 2023).