Reflections on Returning

This week, as Spring blooms and restrictions change, we’ve been thinking on the subject of returning – for better or worse.

New poetry by Daniela Elizarraras Acitores

Every year around Christmas time
the whales arrive.

All the way from Canada, 
they say. 

The cold current is their highway, 
a highway I get a view of.

Some pass by alone,
but others with friends
and most of all they pass with babies.

Baby whales that are on their first migration.

Every morning at mid day and sunset
they make their appearance on the horizon.
  
Some are shy, and only say hi once...

But others are playful, 
jumping and performing;
a show that we all watch with amaze.

Some are breathers, 
taking loads of breaths before their final dive.
While others take one, 
and simply disappear.

I became the “whale watcher”
since I tend to spot them first. 

I spot their breath and 
the water pattern they make.

Sometimes they seem happy, 
but other times…
they seem on a mission.

Every year, 
no matter how much life changes for me
they still pass through.

They are my constant.   

I hope they always come, 
Because who knows?

Who knows?

Who knows if they will one day not return, 
more when 150 species go extinct each day.

But I will keep looking at the horizon, 
And I will wave goodbye as they pass by.

If they can be my constant I will be theirs too. 

Returning Back to Exams – New Writing from George Wainwright

It is now the twenty-sixth of april, I say. My deep, blue eyes squinting at the long white clock in my bedroom. I could not believe the date. The clock’s sharp hands pointing towards me and reminding me that I should not procrastinate and should start work. Time is slipping. Time is ticking. I always remind myself as my fingers prick against my clean, white IKEA desk that I recently bought since returning to my home city. I sit in silence. The skeleton-like trees now blooming with greenery and thick blossoms. It is now the time that I have now been dreading. We are now nearing the end of the academic year. This idea makes my body immediately buzz with anxiety. It has only been a moment since September. The beginning of the academic year. I could remember the days when I would study after going to the gym at a nearby cafe. And then study again at home. I was motivated. I was alive. The world was my oyster. I now think of those times – nostalgic. But I must look towards the future. We must look towards the future. We are now returning to the times of the end of the academic year, towards our exams and our assignment deadlines, which we have been so used to since GCSE’s. Remember those days? I certainly do! When I used to pray before I sat my English Literature Macbeth exam which was on a monday morning. When I would wake up at 4AM to revise Macbeth quotes and then hop on an hour-and-a-half bus ride towards my school. Now I think towards that time as I am now returning towards a similar time. I remember how productive I was during that time. These exams open more doors, my religious education teacher once said. They do open more doors. As I approach and return back to the day of exam season, I am now thinking of many ways to be productive. The problem is that I cannot do it. I can be lazy, unproductive and unmotivated at times. Now I am trying to adopt a new outlook on life. These exams can potentially open more doors in my life and I think it’s time to start a new slate as a return. A more productive slate, I say to myself as I chew the end of my pencil that a friend had given me. I think towards the future. I think towards my future. I think of returning. Returning back to my exams. 

New Poetry by Charlotte Kwong

‘Nothing is certain but death and taxes’


Barge of death
Sails gently downstream
Hooded figure
Lies in wait
To claim their prize
Another soul
And one more
These tortured souls
Will float forever
In the river, Styx

New Writing by Jessica Taft

The first day of spring is not a day I thought I could count on but when spring arrived on Saturday my body was ignited with Joy. 

As the snowdrops and daffodils escape the confines of the soil to bask in the spring glow, my skin alights with relief to see the end of the long winter season. 

No longer are the animals hidden in hobby holes to waste away the cold, slowly they awake opening one eye and then the other. Oh to be a bird or a deer in the spring, to see life in its all encompassing joy and to feel the warmth of the sun as if the icy months ceased to exist. 

Without the cold I would be oblivious. I wouldn’t know the struggle to find beauty in the dull. On the darkest and dreariest of days I know that if I look for signs of life in the crystals I will find a robin surviving the cold alongside me, protecting its land and bringing colour to the blank space.

Robin and I miss the liveliness of their companions, though they are bound by duty I know they would also knock on the doors of their friends to just triple check they can’t say hello, before they resign to their post to keep watch on the snow.

When spring dawns on the 20th March, Robin and I keep watch as the snow melts away and the grass glistens in the light. They spot their neighbour they haven’t seen December coming over the horizon after their vacation in the tropics. 

Soon Robin leaves me elated for some friends. What’s left is my own transformation from bud to blossom.

A letter by Katie Biddle

Dear whoever feels hopeless and naive in these trying times,

Rule of 6, and household requirements are not something we have ever had to consider before March 2020; now it is the light at the end of the very long, windy, confusing tunnel we have all been walking through with a blindfold on. Everything is still ‘up in the air’ but as March 29th fast approaches it feels safe and not disheartening to assume we can go on walks, picnics and bike rides with the group of friends you have only seen through a pixelated zoom call quiz for the past 6 months or even year. Not everyone feels comfortable with the new rules imposed on us and many feel they are still unfair- i would say i am somewhere in the middle. Out of all the lockdowns, this one was particularly hard for me in terms of socialising with friends and even strangers. The cold weather and dark evenings mixed in with uni classes have left me and many others feeling isolated and at times in a dark place with no hope. With vaccines and rapid testing happening in the now, I can’t help but look to these dates Boris has laid out for us and feel hopeful, but very much realistic, to the rest of 2021. 

The question mark remains at the end of socialising as nothing is certain and i’ve learnt the hard way taking the maybe as a definite. Maybe I am naive or perhaps just hopeful, hopeful for the future and hopeful for tomorrow. Meeting up with my friends isn’t going to cure my loneliness, but it will make it feel lighter and less overwhelming. I have to ask myself why I feel like this. Why do I think going outside with more than one person will make me feel better? Why am I refusing any more online dates with my friends as we can just see each other next week? Why aren’t I just living in the moment? These are the things I am asking myself, but I have not a single answer for any. I have become stubborn in light of freedom and I think I’m in need of a reality check. I have a privilege to be here when so many have not been so lucky, and I have a privilege to be able to be hopeful. 

So again i reiterate the sentiment of what is to return- socialising…?

From someone who is feeling overwhelmed with privilege and a stubborn inability to reality check themselves.. 

Nia Reynold on exams

Every year around April, the ever daunted exam season arrives. Preparation, revision, assignments deadlines – all clustered together in the span of one month. We write, we stress, we type, we focus, we email, we cry, we submit. Then it’s gone for another year and faithfully returns just when we start to regain composure again.

‘Dear Universe’ – New Poetry by Rebecca Harding

Waiting for the letter that never came.
Wondered if it got lost, ended up on someone else's floor, stamped on, drooled on by a white yapping dog. 
Wondered if it got sent to Bermuda, and it was resting on the pink sand beaches, about to be swept away by waves.
Wondered if the postman stole it, sold it on eBay for the price of a breath. 
Wondered if you ever wrote it,
Wondered if it was sent...


Waiting for the words of whispers, of dust to be sprinkled on paper. 
Just so it can blow away 
like dandelion seeds on a summer day.
Wondered if the words were clouded in smoke and now there is nothing left to say.
Wondered if the ink was invisible
and you were smiling from the clouds.
Wondered if you could write it
or if your hand drowned... 

Waiting to come back home to you,
but I'm - stuck -  in a black hole, not sure about my address...
maybe you can guess.
Waiting for the letter that never came.
Wondering if I should write one back and just write out your name.

Return of the Drag Scene – New Writing by Stella Nahr

After a long year of lockdowns and closed bars and venues, the drag scene is finally starting to wake up again. Shows and competitions are getting planned and even though most events are about 2 months away, it still feels good to know that there will be something on. In the past months the only possible way to perform was to participate in an online show, either via Zoom, Youtube link or Instagram livestream. Even though performing online can’t compete with being on stage, it was still better than nothing and could at least give you a small glimpse of what it was like to be at an actual drag show. 

The covid situation hit the nightlife industry especially hard as clubs have been closed for over a year now, bars are usually one of the last things to reopen and even if they are, you have to sit on a table, not able to move freely and talk to the drag artists, which is half the fun of a show. Many full time drag performers have been struggling over the past year and even though over summer/autumn there was a small gap of certain venues being open (with ridiculous restrictions, nowadays you have to order a pizza to see your favorite drag queen perform) that didn’t make up for the past months without any gigs or income. 

The drag scene has been on pause for too long now and artists struggle not only financially. A big part of the nightlife drag scene is the fact that you get the chance to express yourself artistically and connect with other queer people. I miss the sense of community, where everyone lifts each other up and makes them feel welcome. I miss the excitement before going on stage, the thrill of performing and the applause after. I miss seeing everyone’s performances and looks and making new friends every time I go out.  

A lot of venues had to close forever during lockdown, but also new queer spaces have opened and new shows and brunches are getting put on. Now’s the time for new ideas to emerge as everything is getting planned and reopened. In the close future you’re hopefully able to attend events without worrying about covid restrictions. The whole scene is more than ready to welcome the new London queer nightlife! 

Growth

All of us experience growth – from the day we are born to the day we die, our lives are a constant evolution; but this past year, for many of us, that growth has been stunted. Stuck inside, unable to see friends of family; wearing a mask and avoiding human contact; unable to go to work, school; unable to go on holidays or nights out. Our day-to-day lives have changed drastically.

Despite this, maybe this past year has prompted us to grow in a different way. I’ve learnt to appreciate the small things; I’ve thought about where I am in my life and where I want to be. It’s given me time to think about my health – physical and mental, and what I can do to improve them both. To improve who I am as a person. So maybe I have grown – not in any way I could have predicted, but maybe that’s the best kind of growth? The unpredictable kind. 

Although there are still many doubts and uncertainties, there now seems to be a glimmer of hope we can all reach for – a ‘return to normality’ – but is that really what it will be? Press the reset button and our lives will just start up again from where we left them a year ago? I don’t think so. No one is the same as they were a year ago – there is no reset button in life, and that’s not a bad thing.

We move forwards. We grow.

Tree, Sunset, Amazing, Beautiful, Breathtaking

Freedom

by Reka Furton

As of 2021 we finally feel a chance for freedom.

Freedom, that was taken away last year. We were advised to stay inside in order to keep each other safe. I can say from experience, that by staying home, lives were destroyed, partners were abused, people became depressed, and this list could go on. It is still a challenge today to stay sane and carry on, knowing that one year has already gone and most of us did not make it any further than the living room.

If you feel chubby because you consumed half the content of your fridge each day and watched Netflix all day, please do not feel bad. We all did it or still do and that is okay, but it can change if you want it. I want you to know that the choice is always there, and it is yours. Personally, I am comfortable in the ‘’Netflix and chill’’ phase, so if you chose to be like that, I want you to know you are not alone. I am writing this piece with a slice of pizza in my left hand and a sip of beer every now and then. Bing eating is today’s activity or hobby if you like, and yes when I have time to go to shop to fill in my half empty fridge this is how I look like. My hands are full of snacks and if you struggle with the same thing, welcome in the club.

There is always time for change though, and that is now. With 2021 we determinate our future. This year we need to make big decisions. Whether we would like to get vaccinated or not, whether we believe the government’s plan and hope that by June there will not be any pandemic. It is still our choice to understand what is best for us. I would like to encourage every one of you to step up for yourselves this year. It will not get any better than this only if you want it.

Finally, I would like to wish everyone a successful year full of hope and clean slates. Take your freedom back!

Enlightenment Torch by Jamelia White-Akingbade

Word of 2021

Enlightenment Torch: Learning and growing through being isolated in our homes, and still having the opportunity to go into shops and walks while wearing a face mask on. It has been the year of being in Tier 3 of lockdown that has taught us to reflect on our future and to what we can achieve during this time. Since 2020, people have become aware of the issues of equality since the Black Lives Matter protest after the death of George Floyd and what we can do to push society forward by educating ourselves on these matters.

As we go into 2021, we hope that there is a solution to the virus, the political system across the world. This we lead the people of the world to feel optimistic that change is happening in the action by the governments. A time will come when we can be relaxed and certain of what direction we are going in during the pandemic without going down a constant spiral of what we could have done as a society. It is important as going into this year that we think about the looking after our mental health. A new chapter of everyone reuniting back in society and yet the process will be slow.

The torch that sees through growing open walks, shops, and homes.

Mask that has been reused,

torch that sees through the Tier 3 lockdown, and

previous lockdowns,

To opened books, experiences, development

issues raised and not,

equality matters-

of the question of

Are we still having the same conversation?

People who do not see, the

torch surpasses rivers, streams, and waters.

In chaotically stranded isolations in this

filling reality.

In and Out, in a never-ending tape,

extends to streets, roads, boroughs, and districts.

The turmoil of where violence takes,

amidst the darkness.

in minds met by truth.

Torch that sees through blurred articles.

and caged defences,

future’s we had and have

the torch that sees through

this old-new world.

ASPIRE – My Word for 2021

Aspire: to look up and see a whole world of possibilities ahead. To look back and see your mistakes but to feel them carry you along in your journey – their teachings help you navigate which way to go and what to do next. To claw up the twisting road, the road many have traversed before, where dreams and hopes live short lives but have long deaths. Or to plunge into the valley of the unknown, the less travelled, where dreams and hopes can bloom into success but without any guarantees and with the strings of doubt attached.

Aspire: to abandon the worries that come with not knowing and never going. To chase the future you desire – let in the life that awaits.

Written by Cheyenne Holborough and edited by Cheyenne Holborough, Elizaveta Kolesova, Amy Barlow, Jamelia White-Akingbade and Reka Furton

Photo by Dapo Abideen on Pexels.com

The Butterfly Ballroom

By Nisha Patel

Sparkling chandelier, hanging like a magnificent sculpture of stars, 

twinkling to bless the night in crimson passion, close to each intimate touch. 

A beautiful ball of butterfly attendees, where elegant colours capture the spotlight.

Fluttering in flamboyance, their wings dazzle in show and tell, 

the romance of wearing the grace of lace, enchants a spark of loveliness,

in which the love refuses to hide under table cloth, but brighten under glass décor.

Flirting like fireflies near the floral lanterns, they leave the candle sticks

to marry their candle holders, under the sculpture of stars. 

Keeping peace between butterflies and light, under dreamy darkness.

A ballroom dance crowns the night, the glimmering diamond of a ball ring.

Partnering to their lovers, they fly with each other, hearts together, 

like violins expressing love behind a curtain of waterfall.

Some butterflies share magic, clutching onto the sidelines of the French rose silk.

Other butterflies make wishes under the chandelier, praying to protect the ballroom,

a sanctuary for romance with wings, to reach the night.

—————

Ballet Performances to Watch, Courtesy of the Royal Opera House: 

 

 Review of Romeo and Juliet Beyond Words: 


I would highly recommend this ballet film to fans of the romantic genre and all things elegant. Starring William Bracewell as Romeo and Francesca Hayward as Juliet, this beautifully performed film captures my heart and fills my head with butterflies. There is no dialogue, which I found more engaging as the audience is left to feel for themselves, allowing their imaginations to flourish. The lack of dialogue also makes this performance much more accessible to those from different language backgrounds. The classical music in the background such as Dance of the Knights by Prokofiev, really brings  the scenes to life. With no words, the vision becomes even more unique to watch, as the romance blossoms on screen. 

The ballet creates a touching bridge between this classic love story and the power of pointed shoes. The acting, along with the imagery, brings you to the heart of the moment. I could feel myself wearing Juliet’s shoes and feeling all her emotions from my head to my toes. I simply couldn’t take my eyes off this film, and the enchanting atmosphere it created in my head, and in my room. The body language of the protagonists portray the sequence of events wonderfully – I could feel Romeo’s heart warming passion for Juliet through his actions. I so greatly admire the attention to detail in the making of this film, because it sewed the whole story together and transported me to their romantic world. 

I first watched this ballet film on a chilly winter evening, and I think this made the experience a touch more magical. I would encourage others to try watching it just as I did. To this day, I still feel drawn to the beauty of the film: my attachment to it will stay forever. There have been many films on Romeo and Juliet, but this was my favourite, because it made me pay closer attention to the visual art of ballet and how classical music feeds life to a love story. The beautiful silence elevated the scenes of suspense. I hope you all take the time to watch this glorious work of art. 

Written by Nisha Patel, edited by Mel Kartal