How to write the perfect romantic novel

By Lilian Koster & Mia Burnette-Wade

We’ve all read or at least come across the cliché, cringey romantic scenes in books and movies that make our toes curl and our eyes roll. Some scenes that are too ridiculous and over the top to occur in real life and everyone knows it. So, here’s some tips on how to write a romantic novel that is somewhat more bearable and believable.

1. Fall in love with your own characters

Heart book page - vintage effect style pictures

istockphoto.com

It might sound a little ridiculous, but it’s necessary. If you don’t like your own character, whether that be their traits, the way they talk or how they look, the scene will feel uncomfortable and forced, which readers can definitely pick up on. Especially in the romance genre, reader’s cringe radars are quite receptive. So, make them have a personality (don’t just describe them as the attractive jock from down the block), make them realistic and relatable. A good way to do this is to avoid Mary-Sues. Nobody is perfect, and what makes a main character interesting is their hamartia and how it affects them, their romantic interest storyline and daily life. Seeing a character struggle humbles them and reassures the reader because let’s be honest–we all go through it.

 

2. Don’t Edward Cullen-ify 

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En.wikipedia.org

Whether you’ve read the books, seen the movies or not, I think we can all agree that waking up to a vampire watching you on the end of your bed is not cute. If your character has bad traits, treat them as bad traits instead of romanticising them. It ruins the mood and can send the wrong message about what is healthy in a relationship. Let’s not even talk about whether you were on Team Edward or Team Jacob because love triangles are stressful, even for the reader, and often splits your audience into two teams. You can create this sort of tension, but at least make it somewhat obvious which side your protagonist is leaning towards.Make sure your character’s choice stays in line with character’s personality. Please. For our sanity. In addition, if you’re going to create a character that everyone is obsessed with, at least make it obvious why they’re the object of everyone’s affections. Do not create a Mary-Sue.

 

3. Grand gestures are nice

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Buzzfeed.com

Grand gestures are often made the climax of the whole plot. It’s when character A finally professes their love for character B. However, they often require a lot of creativity to be written well. Think about what would make your character happiest–an introvert does not want love professed to them in public. It can be as grand or as small as you think seems fit for your characters. Think of how Iron Man had his suits explode into fireworks in the background when he and Pepper shared their first kiss. Or Anna’s short yet sweet “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” in Notting Hill. They’re at opposite ends of the grand gesture spectrum, but equally satisfying to the reader.

 

4. Remember, it’s almost 2020

Not to send you spiralling into an existential crisis or anything. Just be aware of making characters equal. Many romance stories involve something like the girl quits her job to be with her love interest. It goes both ways; make sure your male and female characters stay true to themselves instead of compromising for their relationship in an extreme way. If your story has a modern setting, embrace it.

To conclude, don’t get lost in the Hollywood tropes, and just keep your target audience in mind when you’re trying to write a realistic love story. Exaggeration can be fun, but simplicity can be more meaningful. A single rose can be more worthwhile than a petal shower, depending on your characters. All in all, hopefully these tips have given you an idea of how to write a somewhat decent romance novel.
We expect to see you on the New York Times Bestseller list by next week. And don’t forget to give us credit! Happy writing!

Ten Plays to Check Out in London by Kate Pollack

  1. Ages of the Moon – The Vaults (17th October to 24th November) – Described as ‘a tightly focused study of […] existential aloneness — even if it parades as a grumpy bromance between two ageing men’ by The Guardian, Sam Shepard’s Ages of the Moon tells the story of two men who have been friends for 50 years reuniting to talk over their lives and watch a full lunar eclipse.

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    Ages of the Moon, The Vaults (Kate Pollack)

  2. Translations – National Theatre/Olivier Theatre (29th November to 18th December) – ‘Brian Friel’s play about the infinite mysteries of language’, Translations is a modern classic set against the background of 19th-century Ireland that captures a simple moment of Ireland in a historical transition.
  3. The Ocean at the End of the Lane — National Theatre/Dorfman Theatre (3rd December to 25th January) – Based on the novel by Neil Gaiman adapted for the stage by Joel Horwood, The Ocean at the End of the Lane is a modern myth, telling the story of a boy named Alex, his friend Lettie, and the adventures in store for them when they are plunged into a world of magic and adventure.
  4. Three Sisters – National Theatre/Lyttleton Theatre — (3rd December to 19th January) – A retelling of the classic Chekhov story by upcoming poet and playwright Inua Ellams, Three Sisters is described as a ‘genuinely fresh’ retelling of the story. Relocated to 1960s Nigeria on the eve of the Biafran Civil War, it centers around three sisters in a small village in Lagos desperate to make an escape.
  5. Red Palace — The Vaults (24th September to 12th January) – Written by Cressida Peever and described as, ‘a new immersive cabaret experience conjured from the darkest, most beguiling and magical folktales’; Red Palace puts the audience in the middle of a masquerade thrown by the Prince of the Red Palace to celebrate his reign of a thousand years.
  6. An Act of God — The Vaults (27th November to 12th January) – A new take on a Christmas story, David Javerbaum’s An Act of God follows God, ‘weary of the original Ten Commandments’, as she works with the angels Michael and Gabriel to deliver ‘a fresh set of rules for the modern world’.
  7. Ghost Quartet — Boulevard Theatre (24th October to 4th January) – A haunting little gem of a musical’ according to the Financial Times, Ghost Quartet is a self-described ‘intoxicating musical about love, loss, and spirits’ written by award-winning composer Dave Malloy.
  8. The Sunset Limited — Boulevard Theatre (16th January to 14th March) – A play by Cormac McCarthy, The Sunset Limited tells the story of two men and their chance
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    National Theatre at night (Kate Pollack)

    encounter on a subway platform ‘instantly changing the trajectory of both of their lives’, discussing some of the most important and existential questions facing humanity.

  9. The Effect — Boulevard Theatre (19th March to 30th May) – Lucy Prebble’s The Effect tells the story of two people on a trial for a new antidepressant who meet and begin experiencing similar symptoms – ‘racing hearts, lost appetites, erratic emotions. Are these due to the medication they’re testing or are they falling in love?
  10. Cyrano de Bergerac — Playhouse Theatre (27th November to 29th February) – Telling the story of a man ‘fierce with a pen and notorious in combat’ with ‘a nose as huge as his heart’, this inventive retelling of Cyrano de Bergerac adapted by Martin Crimp asks if society’s narcissism will win or if his ‘mastery of language’ can win over the heart of his true love.

Thoughts and Reasons By Jamelia White-Akingbade

Drowning within my internal emotions.

Is there any justice for how I feel?

Is this even real?

 

Sad.

 

That’s how I feel.

The void in my mind,

As I try to rewind.

 

Sad.

I inhale in and out

Stay calm a voice says.

Ok, I will.

 

 

Repeat.

 

Stay calm. Stay calm.

Postive. Positive. Negative. No. Positive

 

Repeat.

Two steps. Three steps.

Sit. Think. Speak.

Don’t be defensive. Listen.

Inhale. Breathe.

Breathe. Inhale.

Defensive. Don’t.

 

Look smile. Breathe.

Stay ambitious and positive.

Understand that there is a purpose out of every cause,

Cause every purpose.

 

Stay.

 

Purpose. Cause.

Actions, speak louder than words.

 

Stay.

Learn on. Move on.

Eat the chips from the corner of the plate,

Fill my palette with flavours.

 

Optimistic.

Be optimistic and drink the remaining water

From the glass.

Don’t rush your thoughts today.

Tomorrow is another day.

Move on.

 

Move on. Move on. MOVE ON!

 

Annie Baker’s ‘The Antipodes’ Review by James Robinson

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Photo: Manuel Harlan, Theatre Times

The new Annie Baker play, ‘The Antipodes’ has its UK premiere at The National Theatre with the U.S playwright co-directing it alongside designer Chloe Lamford.

It is a fairly surreal play which will undoubtedly disturb and annoy some who want a classic narrative, but will delight others in a multitude of ways. ‘ The Antipodes’ will stick with the audience regardless of their liking it or not.

The play raises questions about the nature of stories. The cast of eight sit around a giant oval table in an obscure corporate boardroom with the task of brainstorming ideas for stories. The purpose of their work is unclear, the story ideas are often monstrous (mythical monsters but also personal stories which had a monstrous effect upon themselves) and time itself appears to get confused and skip in and out of reality. Their conversations weave funny anecdotes, tales of legends within the company, all sorts of strange tales; they are even encouraged to share their personal sex stories by their boss Sandy (Game of Throne’s Conleth Hill) which is incredibly lewd and funny – the audience mostly found it hilarious but some, including the elderly lady sat next to me, clearly found it disgusting- she often exclaimed it was “ghastly”.

The tone effortlessly shifts from boring office chat to the absurd, to hilarity and to melancholic. No matter how weird it gets, the play always returns to the main thread of the people needing to write a story. The urgency of the task becomes greater and the workers are not allowed to leave; in sheer desperation they finally write a new creation myth which is the first complete story in the play, yet it is also the least entertaining or thought provoking part. This raises questions about the play potentially falling short, or in fact making a deeper point that life is a collection of unfinished tales which as a whole are more interesting than rewriting.

‘The Antipodes’ is about many things – the misogynistic office environment, the reason why we tell stories, the homogenisation of stories by corporations, the power of our own stories to understand reality; its complicated, very complicated! Our world is made up of stories, we exist and develop because of them, yet we are often not aware of this. This play makes us consider these things and more, and the obscure ending is perfect because our stories will never stop, they will be recycled, experienced differently, new stories will be written and forgotten and re- discovered. A lot is open to our own interpretation and what we make of it, which is a great analogy of describing our reality. Go see this play!

Independent Bookshops Are Not Disappearing!

By Veronika Chmelikova

 

There are so many ways to buy books but most of the time we go with the most convenient one. Everyone is guilty of buying books on Amazon, and I am not an exception. We always have it in our heads that buying books at a bookstore is more expensive than doing it online. Sometimes it is true but not every single time. In the last couple of weeks, I went to different independent bookstores to find out how they are different from Waterstones, for example. It is the beauty of London that there are so many independent stores and it’s hard to choose only a couple of them. I particularly walked around the Brick Lane area and, at the end, decided to choose these two to write about more in detail.

Brick Lane Bookshop is different in a way that you can buy Wordsworth Editions DSC_1540classics there which never cost more than £3. If you are on a budget, you can always find the essential books needed for studying literature. In front of the store, there is an “on sale” box where you can find interesting books. In this bookshop, they organise events such as book launches and reading sessions. That is still not all. They even organise a short story prize, where you can join every year and the prize is £1000.  More information about the events and the Short Story Prize can be found on their website.

The closest event is the book launch for In Lieu of a Memoir by Tadhg Muller 28th November at 7 pm.

Another bookshop close to the Brick Lane is Libreria Bookshop. The atmosphere of this bookshop is just charming. The arrangement of books is different from the others. Instead of finding sections of classics or fiction, the books DSC_1535are organised by different themes like “female writers”, “The City” or “Wanderlust”, which brings you to a different genre and helps you discover different authors. Libreria organises events as well. On their website there are at least two events per month.

A very interesting one is on the 30th of November, which is a reading of Seven Nights with the author Simon Strauß.

In the end, it doesn’t matter which bookshop you will end up in. The important thing is to support independent bookshops. They are giving bigger opportunities for small authors and their events are worth visiting. It allows you to see what the book launches look like and what the life of a writer looks like. And you can build connections. Even when you are just a passionate reader, the smell of a new book can’t be recreated by Kindle. The excitement of going to the bookshop can’t be replicated by Amazon. In every bookshop I went to in the past weeks I ended up with a new book in my bag from authors I’ve never heard of and I am excited to read them.

“God of War” by Eimantas Skackauskas

The battle was clearly coming to an end. The previously deafening screams were becoming more and more silent. The hill was dyed with blood. A lonesome warrior was watching his comrades getting slaughtered one by one. With tears streaming down his face and all hope gone, he looked up at the sky and screamed.

“Ares! Son of Zeus and Hera! God of War! Do you see us down here?! Are you entertained?!” He didn’t know if he believed in the gods but that was no longer important. Anger, desperation, hopelessness, he could not hold it in. “Do the screams of my friends sound like music to your ears?! Does their pain make you smile?! Oh mighty God of War, if you can hear this…”

He didn’t finish the sentence. He could already hear the yell of victory from his enemies and footsteps coming towards him from behind. “If I am to die today,” he thought to himself, “at least it won’t be with my head held down.” He firmly grasped the hilt of his sword in his hand and turned around to meet his fate.

What he saw left him frozen in place. A small girl who couldn’t have been older than his daughter back home. Her hair was white as freshly fallen snow and eyes as black as coal. Her skin was covered in ash and dust, barely hidden by a little white dress. She held a spear twice her size in one hand and a shield in the other. She took a step towards the lonesome warrior and looked into his eyes. She did not say a word.

It took the warrior a while to regain his composure. He did not understand what was happening but also did not dare to speak. He felt it in his bones, he was looking at someone divine… and he was scared. Scared like he had never been before. He looked at her face again and he could have sworn he saw her lips slightly move.

“Excuse me?” he said after gathering all his remaining courage.

“You.” She said quietly and pointed her spear right at him. “You asked me some questions. I came to give you answers.”

“Are you…” He took a deep breath to stop his voice from shaking. “Are you Ares? The God of War?”

“I am not the God of War,” the little girl said, “and my name matters not.” She took another step towards the warrior. “You asked me if I see you down here. I do. I see it all, warrior. I’ve seen all the bloodshed, all the carnage since the beginning of time. I’ve seen men killing other men for no reason, I’ve seen sons die meaningless deaths, I’ve seen mothers, wives, and daughters raped and brutally murdered for a moment of meaningless satisfaction. I see it all.”

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Greek Hoplite Phalanx

Another step forward. “You asked me if I was entertained.” She said and smiled. “I am but not for the reasons you think. I am entertained by your perception of me. Let me ask you something. Was I the one who started this war? Did I send you and your men into a battle you could not win?” The little girl giggled, sending shivers down the warrior’s spine. “Men see nothing wrong with war until they are on the losing side. And once they lose, they curse my name, forgetting all the times they thanked me for helping them spill the blood of their enemies. I will let you in on a little secret.” She said and lightly tapped his chest with the tip of her spear. “It’s never been me, warrior. It’s all you.

The little goddess took one more step and was now standing right in front of the warrior. “You asked me if the screams of your friends sounded like music to my ears and whether their pain made me smile. Every scream I hear feels like getting stabbed in my chest. And every moment of someone’s pain makes me cry.” As she said that, a tear from her right eye ran down her cheek, washing away the ash and dust, temporarily revealing pure white skin. “I am not who you believe me to be, warrior. I am not the God of War.”

A pair of pitch black wings sprouted from the little girl’s back, making the warrior and all the others on the battlefield fall to their knees. A sense of impending doom filled the air.

“I am the goddess of meaningless bloodshed, of lost innocent lives, of pain and suffering.” She said and spread her wings, tears now running from her eyes one after another. “My name is not for men like you to call.

No more Intervi-EWWW’s

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When it comes to being interviewed, we all get a little (or a lot) anxious. A knot forms in the pit of our stomach and our palms become clammy. It can definitely be challenging to answer certain questions successfully, especially as the interview progresses. Luckily for you though, I attended an interview masterclass at a News Academy Autumn School hosted by Ella Whelan who is a Journalist, Editor, Author and presenter and she gave me all her top tips for partaking in a research steered interview, and I’m about to share all of that golden wisdom with you now. So listen in, and let all of your interview anxieties fade away…

So the first most important tip I learnt from Ella is: PREPARE YOURSELF. As obvious as it sounds, wider reading and research as well as remembering key names and dates plays a crucial part in any (successful) interview. Looking outside the general topic as well as focusing on the main points is vital if you want to make it seem like you have even half an idea of what you’re speaking about. You’ll sound, almost, expert. The conversation that is formed from the answer of some questions can sometimes ‘move on’ or ‘wander off topic’ so knowing a few key facts about topics which may surround the base subject can prove extremely handy. It makes the interview way more sophisticated as well as presenting personal intellect.
Secondly- Always have 1 key point and MAKE IT 3 TIMES in different ways. Not only does this make your point very clear and prominent but it shows that you know exactly what you’re talking about. Don’t get this confused with repeating yourself, no one wants to hear the same thing three times, but do make a valid point in various ways to create confidence in what you’re stating. You want the interviewer to be completely aware of what point you’re trying to get across, so refer back to said point but don’t get repetitive. This will also maintain the topic of conversation so if the interview starts heading in a direction where you feel under prepared or uncomfortable then by all means, this trick will steer the conversation back to your comfort zone.
Lastly TRUST IN YOUR PREPARATION. All the blood, sweat and tears that have gone into your masses of research and reading will pay off! Trust your work and your process and leave any notes on the side as you’re in the interview. This will not only make you look more professional but it’ll build your own self-confidence. Constantly reading from a sheet can make the whole experience less sophisticated and also takes the concentration away from your own self and personality as reading from paper can become quite robotic. So make sure you revise all of your gathered material so you’re prepared and most importantly, TRUST YOURSELF, you are being interviewed for a reason.

Interviews definitely aren’t as daunting as they seem, which is probably a relief to hear. Once these hacks have been mastered then you’ll be prepared for whenever life throws an interview your way!

Taryn Pedler.