By Mia Choudhury

It was that early December morning,
When the sun rose from the clouds
That you told me I wasn’t enough
And that I could never make you happy
Even though you had told me different the night before,
Even though you said you loved me.

But I suppose that was foolish of me,
To believe we’d wake the next morning
And everything would be the same as it was before.
But here we are, smoky grey clouds
In the distant space between last nights ‘happy’
And today’s ‘not enough’

But what is enough?
Because like you said it sure isn’t me.
Even though every fibre of my being was trying to make YOU happy
Despite the fact I was falling apart every morning
I still made sure the black clouds
Of my mind were gone before…

It doesn’t matter what happened before.
We’ve screamed at each other enough.
Screamed and screamed until clouds
Of thunder formed over the skies and scared me
Into thinking that maybe the next morning
Would be different and we could be happy

But alas, here we are, our cup of happy
Empty like it was before
And we’ve not a morning
Left to even think about what could have been enough
But for my sake, for my peace of mind, for me
Will you point at the clouds,

Like Adam in the creation reaching for God in the clouds
And tell me which one told you not to be happy
With your life when God gave you me.
Tell me what made you do it before
Our minds, bodies and souls have had enough
Because I spoke to no serpent and ate no fruit that morning.

You tell me nothing clouds your vision on this grey morning.
You tell me everything is as it was before.
That you were never happy. And I was never enough.

Post by Mia Choudhury,  15th February 2019